Lots of Reflections, and Lots of Intentions

The week between Christmas and New Years is a huge time of reflection for me.  I tend to look back at the year with the intention of setting goals for the next one. I don’t do resolutions. Just goals. And they’re more like guidelines anyway, so they are flexible.  But this year I find myself looking back at a year when I discovered a host of new authors, became closer with authors I already knew, and have been reflecting on how I grew as a reader, editor, and hype girl. And as a human. Because, ultimately, each year I really just want to be the best reflection of myself I can be.

One thing keeps coming back- the connections. The people who really resonated with who I am, what I enjoy and appreciate, and found the same joy in supporting and uplifting others as I do. Because let’s face it, I truly want people to succeed. I believe a rising tide floats all boats. I believe that we are always stronger together. And I believe finding your tribe is the ultimate key to happiness.  

So, here I go, recognizing a few of the people and groups who I vibe with, all with the intention of recognizing why they’re so important to me and how what I’ve learned from them will help me move forward with my goals for 2023.

My local bestie, Fran.

Because she gets me. She’s been here for the chaos of the past year, and she’s loved me through it.  When she stopped me mid-ramble about a book I was editing to tell me she hadn’t seen me so happy in a long time, it really sunk in. This is what I’m supposed to be doing. Every time I ramble on about a new book I read, she reminds me again, that I’m happy. And she shares my golden retriever, squirrel with adhd energy, and nods along through my chaos brain, and reminds me that I’m happy. And I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. And I feel seen. And I’m grateful to the point of tears for everyone I’ve met on this journey that I get to word vomit to my bestie about. 

My St@lkerSisters: Julie C, Rhon H, Susy A

This group of amazing women are more than just book besties. They are besties. Yes, I claim multiple besties. Because just like Fran, they are also my mentors, my guides, my shoulders, my Jiminy Crickets. They just don’t live 20 minutes away, so our connections and interactions take on a different, but no less valuable, arrangement. We laugh together, of course, but we also cry together, yell together, and call each other on our shit when we need to. But all with the true and honest intent of helping each other grow. I have learned so much from them about who I am, what I excel at, and how I can continue to grow than I even realize. It’s apparent every time I do something and have that, “huh, thanks Julie/Rhon/Susy,” feeling. Because, in that moment, it’s one (or more) of their voices in my head guiding me through it. And it’s not always about something book related. Finding friendships through Romancelandia that extend so far beyond has been truly incredible. And it’s a stellar example of how the smallest things can create the greatest connections.

The Shaders: Charissa G, Nina B, Angela T, Blye D

Online friendships became a sisterhood in November. It’s one thing to interact with people online—to read their books, like their posts, share their successes, commiserate in their struggles—and another completely to hug them, celebrate with them, share a meal with them, and find that you resonate with them on an even higher level in person.  I’ve watched these four amazing humans publish books throughout the year and form a bond with each other that exemplifies that sisterhood connection. They truly want everyone to succeed. Their encouragement of each other, and other new authors within their group and within the general romance community, is inspirational.

My amazing authors: Charissa, Brittney, Koko, Noelle, Cathryn, Meg, Callie, Samantha, Janice, and a few I can’t mention because of things (good things, just personal privacy respect things)—THANK YOU!

When someone trusts me enough to put their words, characters, and hearts in my hands, I am beyond grateful. Working with these authors, helping them get their books from draft to publication, is a truly incredible experience. And every time I edit a new book, I learn new things. I learn about the author, sure, but I learn about their readers. I learn about my personal lens on social, personal, and emotional values, events, and impressions. I learn about style changes, and publication issues. I learn what it’s like to find my own voice while I help them find theirs. Sure, there have been bumps in the road—and imposter syndrome has been a constant companion—but even the speed bumps, potholes, detours, and dead ends were manageable because of the authors who not only find value in my professional editing skills, but in my mentorship, my coaching, my honesty (which can be hard to read/hear sometimes), and my friendship. 

And to the authors I proofread for, Vikki and April, thank you for trusting my brain and skills to give your books that final once over. It truly means a lot.

I also discovered the wonderful world of Beta reading through my journey in Romancelandia. Amanda, LJ, Stephanie, Samantha C, Claire W, and the authors who keep their Beta lists hush hush—thank you for your trust. It really means a lot to me that you value my feedback, and your friendships and trust fill my heart just as profoundly as your words fill my mind. 

And if you are part of my bookish tribe in any capacity. Thank you for being on this journey with me. Thank you for the amazing discussions about books, authors, and characters. Thank you for hugging me at events, and hugging me online. Thank you for laughing with me, and sometimes at me, and sharing your faves with me so I can build and expand my reading world. Thank you for engaging in authentic and meaningful, as well as frivolous and lighthearted, conversations about all the bookish things. You’re all part of my tribe, and I seriously love you all so freaking much.

So now that I’ve gotten all of that out, here’s my call to action for you.  Find what you’re grateful for. Take a few minutes to reflect on those people who supported you in your biggest successes. The people who were there when the hard lessons hit and helped you move through it. The people who inspired you. The people who helped you accomplish your goals, both indirectly and directly. And looking ahead, set your goals for the new year, but set a plan in place to have a support system to help you achieve them. Nobody succeeds on their own. Ever. So find your tribe, and love them hard. They’ll be there for you, just as you will be for them. 

I think my goal for 2023 is to be present in the moment. To take in the energy around me and release it into the spaces I can provide the best support. To understand and recognize when and where my efforts are most needed, which may or may not be most noticed.  And to recognize the joy I feel and the gratitude I have for my tribe.