Episode 2: Topic Tug-of War, More Brain Squirrels, and Controlling the Chaos

These are my unedited notes for episode 2. They’re not the full story, but they’ll get you the gist of the conversation. Access the full audio here: Spotify iHeart Stitcher Google Podcast

This past week has been a chaos of emotions.

Podcast launch was nerve wracking. Thank you so much to everyone who shared, commented, and reached out. It really means a lot.

I rode that high for a day or so, then the shite hit the fan here in US.

And I had no plans to get political on this, and I still will try really hard to keep this all on target. Promise. 

I had things all planned out for what I was going to chat about today, and then thoughts and ideas kept bombarding me. The brain squirrels played topic tug-of-war. I had awesome ideas, that quickly got detoured, derailed, and run over by other ideas.  But there definitely seemed to be a common thread in the rope holding it all together.

So bear with me while I weave the concepts of community, the wonderful world of my TBR, book bandaids, and last week’s shitshow together.

I touched in episode 1 on how romance books became my escape during pandemic. Well, this past weekend and early this week it became my solace and emotional band aid again. I spent more time in the groups, less time on the regular socials feed, and read a lot. Edited a lot. Wrote a lot. And was reminded more and more of why these Book bandaids have been such a key part of my life for the last 2+ years.

Need that hea

I need to know things will always work out.

I need to be with people who understand that I’m frustrated, and angry, and hurt, but also know how to pull me from that and help me find my focus.

There was enough chatter and conversation in the groups that I felt seen, heard, understood, and informed. But it was kind, and more of a community vent session than a judgey scream fest. More on why I think that is toward the end of the episode.

I also needed the variety available to escape real life for a while. Conversations in the bookish groups still mainly focused on books, authors, tropes, etc, and I got motivated to find my next read.  I have a break in ARC reading, so it’s a good opportunity for a backlist binge.  I spent time pouring over my TBR.  And yeah, it was significant time not reading or writing, but it was still time well spent. Audrey II has been a very happy TBR.  (explain why called Audrey II)

I wandered through the screenshots on my phone and was increasingly amused and amazed at the number of different authors, genres, and tropes stashed side by side in this gallery on my phone.  Everything from suspense, small town, dark, lgbtq and spanning the gamut of 

Tropes: 2nd chance, forced proximity, brother's best friend, fake relationship, workplace romance, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, etc

Some are authors I’ve read before, some brand new. All either recommended by a fellow reader, another author, or a suggested read on amazon, FB, or a kindle splash screen. All books I somehow have a connection with even though I haven’t read them. And I know that when i do, I’ll find a bookish buddy in a group somewhere who’s already read it that I can chat with about why I love it so much.

I also found myself needing some seriously funny lol moments. Because, seriously y’all, last week was depressing as much as it was frustrating.  So I called up an aAudiobook escape- falling into the cadence of the narrators voice. For me, reliving books I’ve read and taking my mind off of everything.  If you haven’t listened to Kayley Loring’s Brodie Brothers audiobooks, please do yourself a favor, and just listen. Escape the pages. Escape the news. Escape it all. They are serious mindcandy. 

Back to what I mentioned earlier about  community vent session than a judgey screamfest:

In my experience, and yes, I know it’s limited, and this is of course my experience and opinion: Romance novels are typically read by people (mostly women, but there are some wonderfully enlightened romance reading dudes out there) who understand the intricacies of relationships and that part of that is sex. I know people take that element as an opportunity to call romance trashy & antiwoman, but that is the farthest thing from what I have found.  Romance novels include clear expressions of love. The authors I love and read create Empowering female characters who express what they want, and are respected and taken care of because of it. And by taken care of, I don’t mean relegated to the bedroom. These characters are strong role models in career and family situations. They force the men in their lives to step up their game: and not just in the bedroom. Yes, I love alpha protector heroes. That does NOT translate to toxic masculinity, control freaks, etc. It translates to men who understand that the women they love have their own strengths, personalities, views & opinion, lives, and body autonomy. They want to take care of the women in their lives because they value them as human beings. And those of us who read these books look for those traits in others as well.  Is it a fantasy that we dive into reading. Hell yeah. Do we hope the partners we attract and settle down with exhibit at least some of the qualities our book boyfriends do, double hell yeah. But even moreso, being a romance reader, and finding other romance readers and groups gives us a safe place to express our thoughts on body autonomy. About finding partners who value our opinions. Who trust us to make decisions. Who support us in the decisions we make. 

Do the authors we love write about sex. Yep. Do they write about the outcomes of sex? Yes again. Look at all of the secret baby, unexpected pregnancy, single parent books out there. And I know it’s not a trope everyone loves, and that’s 100% ok. But I love the way the authors I read approach those situations. With respect, kindness, and a lack of judgement.  And the bookish friends I know who read them approach the story the same way. And we talk about them! We talk about the lack of contraception in some books and how that leads down the storyline. We talk about how there is no 100% method of contraception. That things happen. And then the characters work their way through their options and find a solution.  I loved the conversations I saw in the groups that were spurred on by the roe vs wade decision. They weren’t about the decision, but they were. They were about being realistic with sexual expectations. They were about double standards in social and societal constructs. I even saw conversations about different methods of birth control, how they work, and people’s personal experiences with them. Conversations that can sometimes be very uncomfortable in person, or in the wrong setting, were happening- with zero judgement! They were supportive, and honest, and realistic.

Whew. Ok. So, how does all of this tie together? In my mind it’s about community. It’s about seeing and understanding why and when people need to immerse themselves in reality and why and when we need to escape it. It’s about a mutual love and appreciation for a genre and medium that gives us that space. It’s about book buddies and book bandaids and being brave in your choices. 

Starting next episode (thanks to my older spawn’s help) I’ll probably have a nifty intro with all my info on it. But for now, just know you can find the blog at brayzensblog.com and you’ll find me on Facebook at Brayzen Bookwyrm’s Unrighteous Reading Rebellion, on Instagram and Tiktok as Brayzen Bookwyrm, and remember it’s B-R-A-Y-Z-E-N B-O-O-K-W-Y-R-M   Yeah, I like the Y’s. I’m wyrd.

And let me know what you’d like to hear me ramble about. You can message me on FB or IG or email me at brayzenbookwyrm@gmailcom .

So that’s it for today. I’m so glad you’ve decided to pop in and join me on my first adventure in podcasting.  Can’t wait to connect with y’all again!