WYSIWYG: On the page vs in real life
Authenticity. It’s something we crave in the characters we read. It helps us connect to them, feel empathy for them, and it builds a relationship between the reader and story that becomes immersive and memorable. But what makes a character authentic? Is it because we see elements of ourselves in those characters? Or elements of who we want to be? Or is just pure fantasy? I imagine if you’re reading this, you’re not a billionaire, covert operative, mafia princess, or sports/music star (or married to/dating one), yet we read those characters and connect with them on some level. We recognize the authenticity of their actions, even if we can’t directly relate to who they are or what they do for a living.
I’ve been finding lately that I connect most with characters who have some trait or characteristic that they hide from just about everyone, until they really need it to connect with their HEA. But in real life, I find myself gravitating to people who are more WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get).
Why, though?
Why do I yearn for a book boyfriend with a rep as a manwhore, who’s really just a big softy and will do anything to make his HEA happy? Who falls fast and hard for his Cookie and shows his true depth with his family when they’re facing the hardest trials of their lives (I’m looking at you Cooper Miles). Why does my heart melt for a hero who hides behind a playboy Peter Pan façade to protect his family by drawing attention away from them, and to himself, so they can be happy without the spotlight always shining in their eyes (hello Colton Westbrook). And why do I long to befriend the misunderstood heroine. The one everyone thinks is a bitch because she’s running from the expectations of her past and it causes her to lash out and keep everyone at arm’s length (yep, there’s my girl Felicity). What is it about these characters that draws me in, when in real life I need people who will be open about who they are, what their intentions are, etc?
Do we connect with characters because of what they hide? Because we all hide things and it’s beautiful to see that element of ourselves portrayed in a fictional character? Inner turmoil plays a huge role in the characters I love the most. The need to hide pain, past and present, from others is strong. That need to appear a certain way on the surface in an attempt to fit in is ever-present. Aren’t we all hiding pieces of ourselves because of who we are supposed to be? Do we accept other's images of ourselves because it's easier than putting our real and raw selves out there to be judged?
Those characters I love and connect with so much often shed their outer image for their true HEA. And for the people who come along with it. And don’t we do that in real life? How many of us hide behind the façade social media allows us to create? The highlight reel is so tempting. Sunshiny days and smiling happy faces get way more likes and shares than honest reality. Eventually many of us find someone (or someones) who we allow behind the curtain. To see who we really are. Flaws and all. Social media brings us together because of things we love- sometimes surface joys (love of reading) can connect us with people who fulfill a deeper need to connect. And eventually they see the real us. The unfiltered, honest, wysiwyg person behind the happy kids, pets, and staged vacation smiles. Some stay for the ride, others get off quickly when the truth hits. Just like in the books we love.
So here’s the hard and fast truth for me: I love having the chance to dive into a story I know will end perfectly for the imperfect people in them. But in real life, the real love of the journey, the HEA for me, is being able to be who I am, to be wysiwyg, and to find happiness and my HEA with others who are the same, and appreciate the honest, unfiltered me. And while digging through the layers of a character to find their true selves seems really cool and amazing in a romance novel, in real life, I’d rather have the real, unfiltered honest friendships with real, unfiltered honest people who aren’t afraid to be and show who they are. And are willing to accept the same of me.
