Checking in- unfiltered- and completely unedited
Happy Saturday, beautiful reader friends! Just a quick(ish) check-in to update everyone one why I haven't written in nearly 10 days. And fair warning, this post has not been screened by my editor, so what you see is what you get :-)
I'm writing this 4 days post surgery. Tuesday, December 7 shall now be known in my world as Menstrual Independence Day! Remember when my uterus tried to kill me? Well, it can't do that anymore. It's gone. Forever. *and there was much rejoicing!* But now the recovery begins. I know from conversations with several friends who have gone through this that the recovery is going to be slower than I want it to be. And slower than I think it should be. Mainly because most of what has to recover can't be seen. I can keep an eye on my sutures. Instead of the typical 3 for a laparoscopic hysterectomy, they did 4. See, I can't do anything "typical." The normal 3, then a 4th to alleviate scarring from the September episode and my 2 C-sections when the spawns were evicted (born). But I can't keep an eye on the internal healing. And friends and family are reminding me every day that I had an entire internal organ removed. And my body needs to heal. And I can't see it healing, so I have to trust it is and not do anything stupid to stop the healing. And along with my body healing, my mind is, too. This was a damn emotional journey for me, and there are repercussions from that, too. But I'll deal with that as it comes along. I know I'm not alone in my journey, and I am reaching out to and relying on others for support, I promise.
So, here I sit, on my couch, filling you all in on the shitshow of the past 10 days :-) Which hasn't been so much a shitshow as a lesson in patience. And a fresh view on how to look at things. And how not to. It's also been a lesson in love. Love of others, and love I have been denying myself (ok, minds out of the gutter, I didn't mean it that way.) The physical healing will take 6-8 weeks. The emotional and mental, well, that's a never ending journey for me, I believe. But love definitely helps the healing. So I plan to focus on that a lot. And friends, trust me, I am feeling the love. From everyone who has checked in on me on-line and in-person. From everyone who has sent cards, and gifts, and words of encouragement. From everyone who has shared things I've written that have impacted them in some way. I will continue to focus on those amazing things and the people in my life who keep showing up in beautfully wonderfully supportive ways. Y'all are fanfreakingtastic and I love every one of you. I really really do.
If you follow me on FB & IG, you may have noticed that I can no longer include my blog website in any live links on those sites. Or on the sites at all. Apologies to those of you who have gotten "notices" that your posts were removed because they contained my blog link. Thank you for disagreeing with the decisions. Because, yeah, that is still not resolved. And I honestly don't suspect it will be. But I have things in the works to move forward. Because I am not a quitter. And I have 6-8 weeks of "downtime" to move it all forward. 6-8 weeks to figure out where I want this all to go. 6-8 weeks to write, read, and recover. I definitely don't expect this part of my life to take that long to resume, though. I am in the process of creating a new website, so that's fun. My goal is to resume my regularly scheduled snarkiness by the end of next week. Hopefully. So thanks for hanging in there with me.
A lot of folks have asked how they can help. And I absolutely am feeling that love! So, for now, here's how:
1. Continue to check in with me. Let me know how you're doing. Share with me. The good, the bad, the whatever. Vent to me! I'm here. I want to hear how you're doing and be there with you as you navigate things. I can be a good ear, shoulder, sounding board even while I navigate my own shit. Sometimes, because I'm navigating my own shit. Don't stay away because you "don't want to bother me." You are never ever bothering me when you reach out. I promise, you're not.
2. Visit my blog and read/reread older posts. Let me know what you think of them. I thrive on feedback. I crave it. So give it to me! Please.
3. Send me ideas of what to write about next. Because I am still writing, I'm just holding off on publishing some things until stuff is a bit more settled and resolved. I will never stop writing. I promise.
4. Like, share, and comment on content I post on FB & IG. I thrive on those interactions and relationships. And honestly, those little snippets of connection are going to be key in my recovery. For one, they'll keep my ass on the couch rather than trying to do all the things. For two, they're huge healing hugs for my mental and emotional self.
5. Check out the reviews I've written on Amazon, Goodreads, and BookBub. Give them a thumbs up if you're so inclined. And let me know if you've read any of the books I've reviewed and what you thought of them. I love talking about books. Seriously, I really really do.
So, that's it for now. No huge announcements just yet. Just me, sitting in front of my computer, asking y'all to hang in there with me. And hang out with me. On-line. At our own homes. Because hanging out with all y'all is amazing healing energy for my mind, body, and soul.
